Be Yourself... Like Spinal Tap.

I decided that instead of putting my head down on my pillow and doing some reading, I'd do a quick vetting of what was on my mind. So, I made it as far as getting in to bed. But as I was getting there, er here, I mentally prepped myself for tomorrow morning. I've got an appointment with my physical therapist--who happens to be an atypical guy when it comes to what I think of a doctor/PT type. I don't know a whole lot about him, but I do know that he's relatively young, rides motorcycles, and dresses and carries himself like a guy I'd see at a club. Why is this important? ...well, for some reason, I've historically tried to dress to fit surroundings--to fit in--and I actually thought to myself as I was getting in to bed: "well, I shouldn't wear X because he might stereotype me as Y." Then I caught myself. STUPID!!! Who cares?!?!@# This guy is my physical therapist!! And then I thought some more... I don't think it's that I'm scared to live out who I am--I feel confident that I don't compromise myself. I think it's more that I want people to think they can associate with me, so I try to make it seem as such. In itself, this might not be such a bad thing, I'd think, but the more I ponder it, the more I believe it leads to compromise--at least when it comes to creative expression. Somehow I started thinking about how this might tie to the music-making process for me (perhaps these thoughts were urged on by just having watched This Is Spinal Tap with girlfriend). I started thinking that making oneself fit others is really a process of burying self. And while some may disagree, I think the burying of self = stifling of what's really going on inside oneself. Thus, how can one really believe in the creative expression that they might put forth as music (or any other form of creative expression) if what really makes them up is buried and locked away. Sometimes my insides actually wanna do crazy stuff like Spinal Tap. Not that I'd actually wanna be on stage singing "Big Bottom", but you get the point.