Catharsis and Self-exploration

I've missed writing here. Since June of last year, this blog has been a wonderful forum for my mind and emotions, but life kicked it up a gear over the past couple of months and I haven't written since October. Which makes me again re-realize something about myself: I'm subject to business. Subject to life.

I flash back to think about convo's with the roomie about the music making process, how John wants to make music about life. About what's going on in his life. He wants to convey messages without imposing his thoughts and feelings on you. He wants his music to be an outlet, where doing the music is a cathartic exercise, not only for him, but for his listeners. I think I have something to learn from him here.

I think my musical experience has led me to some unwanted snobbery. I've told myself, "I've done that whole say what you want to say without saying it, so what's next?" And that led me back to classical composition (or at least the desire to do so), or anything that's labelled with a "post-" prefix. I want to, in the words of Mike Skinner (The Streets) "push things forward." But I've always told myself that in order to do so, I have to leave what's behind me--and I think that that might be to my detriment.

Everyone knows that art is a culmination of what was previous to now; how can I even begin to think that I can toss aside my musical experience if I hope to continue to grow musically? I have to realize that anything that I do will be built on the things that I've loved and hated in my surroundings. The love/hate relationship I have with Indie Folk-Rock can't just be tossed aside--I have to embrace that as part of my life. Part of what's made me, me. I won't be able to move on until I come to terms with those relationships (just as I've had to do with relationships with people in my life).

So what does that coming-to-terms process look like then? Well, if I compare it to people relationships, that means looking at the good and bad of my experiences with them and putting those experiences in their respective buckets. Along those lines, it probably also means looking at how those relationships effected my life, both short- and long-term. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense...

So in light of this new part of the year, I'm focusing on the positive things around me; I think this is a great opportunity make a conjunction out of the whole thing and apply this to my musical life. Time to look at the positive aspects of all the music I've experienced over the years and figure out what I can take with me in my next musical steps.

Tallyho!